I have a genuine fear of heights, and I have no idea from where it came. If I attempt to take part in a height-filled activity, I literally freeze and cannot move, and someone has to work incredibly hard to coax me along. While my acrophobia is real and something I cannot get past, there are many things in life that just generally freak me out.
Now, some people are frightened by terrorism, guns, ethnic minorities or gangsters, but I went to public school, so I’m all: “what’s the big deal?” I am far more apprehensive of the truly freaky and/or terrifying:
Squid. I’m confident the Kraken was based on giant squid, and it’s totally understandable why all those pirates were so terrified.
Ventriloquist dummies. What insane person thought that was a great idea?! They are truly terrifying with their wide, demonic eyes and their creepy, jerky movements. No wonder there’s a horror movie dedicated to them, which I will never see.
Clowns. I never should have seen any part of It, because every time I see a clown, no matter how harmless he/she/it seems, this is all I can think of:
Spiders, and most bugs in general, with their creepiness and oozing and fangs. I couldn’t even look up pictures to post because I felt like they were crawling all over me.
Children in horror films. Why are kids so much more creepy in scary movies than adults (with the exception of Jack Nicholson)?!
Tornadoes make my stomach turn with the way they swoop in out of nowhere with incredible force and power and leave behind a wake of destruction, much in the way of a high school girl.
So, there you have it: I have given you all the information you need to completely damage me. In hindsight, this entry was a bad idea. All one has to do is strap me to a high place and force me to watch all the things listed above (including Jack Nicholson and Carrot Top) and I am in a straight jacket for life.
A Patriot in Prague 